Thinking about Mary I would never have equated her with freedom. She is the epitome of surrender and submission to God’s will. She accepted the message of Gabriel with quietude and humility. “I am your servant.” Is that freedom? Yes. It is the ultimate freedom.
In this world we do not appreciate the power that is inherent in true surrender and submission. We like to be seen to be in control and achieving and sorted and organised and and and…. Such a stressful and tiring way to live and to maintain an illusion – for that is what it is. An illusion calculated to give the significant others in our lives the impression of how well we are doing. Facebook and other social media abound in this illusory claptrap. I think I might start posting all my failures and stupidities on a regular basis – it would be the Franciscan, topsy turvy way of doing things. Turning the tables, as Christ did in the temple to rid the holy space of worldy focus and preoccupation.
Not in a self deprecating way – that is not what I mean, but perhaps in the way of the self reflection I am working on with regularity to turn over those parts of myself that are less than delightful. The exercise is fruitful on a personal level – I feel a sense of freedom from a long held, musty smelling burden each time I sit with my King and share with him my list of lifelong crassness. I am so grateful he has an unending supply of unconditional humour.
Working with this icon of Mary earlier in the year was the start of a painful process of self examination and of finding friendship with some unlikely people from the US – women and mothers who are blighted by the perception the world has of mothers and how they should be despite the abuse they receive from spouses, partners, children and relatives. These brave and long suffering women are treasures of common sense, reality and support for each other. They cry every day and one, who has become a very special friend to me, is now out of contact and I am worrying about her and praying every day for some news. Sometimes the pain is simply too much to bear for one more day and this lady may have had too much suffering to continue. I hope it is not so.
The tyranny of self righteousness strikes many blows on every level in all and every place in society and those who do not fit into this narrow part of the spectrum called ‘socially acceptable’ are marginalised and pushed to the edges of ‘normal’ society. It has always been so, especially for women in many cultures. Yet in the West we pride ourselves as having respect for women and hearing their voices but it is all nonsense. Furthermore, women themselves have a lot to answer for when it comes to helping other women. They keep each other down rather than enable; become envious and coveting rather than enjoying the successes of their peers.
One of the rules of the iconographer is to be joyful of the success of others as it is a success for all. This attitude is Unity of Spirit – do we not all say we are one spirit because we all partake ion the one body of Christ? If we criticise one another it is like looking at our big toe and saying, “Well you ugly digit, I do not want anything to do with you.” Well Big Toe will have the last laugh – try walking without one and it would feel very odd indeed. We need our Big Toe. I am a Big Toe for God.
Overcoming self and the desires and passions that assail us is a lifetime’s work. Working with women who are positive and giving without expectation of receiving is a joy. A kind of magical feeling surrounds such times. My novice guardian tells me this is when the Kingdom of Heaven draws near. I believe this to be the truth – I can feel it with every cell of my body and on the outside it is almost like there is a big invisible bubble enfolding proceedings. Nothing can defeat those who work in such a bubble. This is true freedom. The protection that comes from the Almighty for those who are willing to let go of everything for the sake of his Crucified Son, who demands much of us.
Freedom
When you live in material poverty for years you learn to depend on God for the next meal and the next rent payment.
He delivers.
You do not fear lack of resource, as a result.
Material wealth loses its allure.
Money means less and less.
The desire for it weakens and a new desire to give replaces it.
More freedom of spirit.
More love enters the heart.
Thoughts begin to change to new ways of being and thinking.
The ego begins to lose its grip.
More love enters the heart.
More awareness of the divine in operation opens up the mind.
The need to be accepted by limiting groups of others disappears.
Freedom.
Freedom to be who you truly are.
More love enters the heart.
Your eyes become clearer and see more than what is visible.
You begin to ‘see’ in other ways and it is all beautiful.
The love entering the heart is unconditional.
You are able to love those who hate you, who despise, injure or criticise.
You see them from the Jesus perspective.
You do not worry about the politics and machinations others are involved in.
You are far away from being moved by such things because you know you will be provided for.
He delivers.
This is a revolution.
It is freedom of spirit by being poor on many levels.
The only thing that is important is this love and the nurturing of it more and more.
More love enters the heart.
Who and what in the world can destroy this love?
Nothing.
This is Christ crucified.
This is Mary’s ultimate surrender to the sword that pierced her heart through her son and the pain she feels for all those who are suffering.
Only love is left.
You have to be brave to allow yourself to walk this path. Like St. John of the Cross but that is for next time.
